Caught Up

I would say the last week, maybe two, I'm starting to get off track. Just a little bit...off. I've been quite sick on and off since I've arrived over two months ago and I tend to hibernate in my bed to recover. I feel too weak to leave and my feeble stomach does me no favors. When I rise from my illness it takes all my spare time to get caught up on the tasks at hand and finish what I have committed to.

I'm getting to a point where I am losing the bright sense of joy that Africa has put on my heart and that endearing sense of belonging is slowly starting to escape me. I'm spending more time mourning the loss of my relationships back home than I am pursuing new ones with the people who are in association with me here. I never find myself in the mood to talk or be deliberate with anyone anymore. I'm slowly receding further into the furniture and losing the will to move forward. That's not to say I have regrets about my decision to embrace Africa as my new environment or that I don't love the people I work in community with; I am simply losing my motivation little by little and my heart is beginning to call home. I should have been ready for this, I should have known that it was impossible for me to avoid these feelings after the first few months of being here. I've been praying for God to speak into my life and remind me of what is truly important. I told Him I'd give Him everything, and He told me He would make it far worth my while. I cannot continue to stay focused on a chapter in my life that I have ended, I must look forward and prepare for what lies ahead. The more time I spend looking behind me, the longer it will be before I see the big picture. I have been called to be here, and I see it in a child's smile. I see it on the beautiful breezy days and at dinner with my family. I feel a sense of belonging no matter how hard I try to fight with it. I know that this is where God wants me, it's just a matter of being submissive to Him and allowing Him to use me as His vessel.

However, today the sun is shining and it's warming the ground. The plants are a new shade of green and the brightly colored African lizards are playing on the front porch. It's fairly quiet here on base, as Sundays generally are and after two days of ill hibernation, I'm reminded of the beauty that Africa holds in it's soul. I'm feeling blessed to be a part of it, and while I still don't really feel like talking, I'm sure I'll come around. It's a process as I'm slowly beginning to figure out and you never get to where you're going. You just continue to get closer, then step back maybe even take a running leap forward before you fall down again. The beautiful part of it all is that God never leaves us on the ground. His hand is always extended to help us back on our feet. I'm choosing to hold onto it and follow Him where he leads me.

[photo credits to Jen price]

10k Tues Preview.

Water is a precious commodity in any culture or community in the world. Sometimes we don’t value it, as every time we turn on the tap, wash our clothes, bathe, or flush our toilets clean water comes out with no problem and no hesitation, but here in Africa, water is precious and valued as such.
In the local communities, big tanks truck in water and people stand all day in long lines waiting for their turn to fill up their jugs. In the community of Mbonisweni, there is a small pool of dirty water used for washing, bathing, and cooking. Boiling water for drinking is a foreign concept, as it takes too much effort to heat it over a fire and wood is scarce. People become ill, children get sick and often die, because of something most of the Western world takes for granted.
Creative Action:
Every time you turn on the tap to get a glass of water, wash your clothes, or take a shower, remember how blessed you are and pray for the water situation in Africa. Pray for new wells to be built in Mbonisweni and Kabokweni. Pray for government intervention and a sustainable solution.
Thank you for your participation! We’d love to hear any stories or comments you may have, so take a minute and post on our discussion board.

[by: Brittany Deniston]

The Throw down.

Tonight my little sister challenged my boyfriend to a throw down. She put on the proper attire and got prepared to get beat by a guy in a pink shirt*. =)

*footnote: Sorry about the visuals...forgot the "R"

The Maker - DMB

Oh, Oh Deep water

Black, and cold like the night

I stand with arms wide open

I've run a twisted mile

I'm a stranger

in the eyes of the Maker

I could not see for fog in my eyes

I could not feel

for the fear in my life

From across the great divide

In the distance i saw a light

John Baptist

walking to me with the Maker

My body is bent and broken

by long and dangerous sleep

I can work the fields of Abraham

and turn my head away

I'm not a stranger

in the hands of the Maker

Brother John

Have you seen the homeless daughters

standing therewith broken wings

I have seen the flaming swords

there over east of eden

burning in the eyes of the Maker

burning in the eyes of the Maker

burning in the eyes of the Maker

burning in the eyes of the Maker

oh river rise from your sleep....

[photo credits to Jen Price]

Baking Love

For the last week or so I've suddenly found an interest in baking. Aside from buying a box of cake mix or a tube of cookie dough, I've never really made anything before and never had an interest to try. There's something about Africa that has inspired me to try new things and find interest in things I've never before considered, like baking and knitting. I've made two batches of muffins, a banana Cinnamon oatmeal batch and an apple raisin batch, neither of which was too bad for my first few attempts if I do say so myself. Also, I've been trying my hand at baking fresh bread, the hard way without a bread maker. My first two tries weren't so great, I just couldn't get the technique down and my bread was not rising in the sun, but today I made some with sweet basil and I got it to work. I felt so accomplished when it came out of the oven looking (and tasting) exactly the way it was supposed to. I want to try new things, so as soon as we get some money for ingredients I'll keep experimenting with new recipes. I really love the way Africa has brought out this new side of me. I came here hoping this the trip would make me more adventurous, and it surprised me at the ways it has done just that. When I think "adventurous" I certainly don't think of baking muffins and knitting squares, but it's given me the inspiration to try my hand at something new and see it through. It's teaching me what the word process is all about, and I'm really enjoying the time with God and the way He speaks to me when I try something new. Plus there's no better way to make someone feel welcome than to make them something good to eat :)

Community Will Prevail

Today I finally had a chance to sit back and think about the last couple of days. With the death of a mother in the community of Mbonisweni and preparing for the arrival of multiple teams over the next couple of months I haven't taken the time to step back and look at what God is doing in my life and all around me.

Looking back and seeing a mother of two, the oldest Sipo a 15yr old boy and Kathiway an 11yr old girl, pass away just a few weeks after a team from Orlando constructed them a new house was hard to understand the reasoning of God's plan. Spending time out at the build site was such a blessing in so many ways. Not only was I able to be apart of giving a family a house with a roof not made out of tarp and walls made of tin but also able to build a relationship with this family and knowing that when this house is finished I will still be around to see them enjoy it. But trying to understand God's reasoning for taking the mother of these two children soon after a "Home" was being established I soon realized was selfish. It is not my place to understand why but just to have faith and know that his plan is way bigger then I could ever imagine.

Sipo is at a time in his life where the transition of being a boy and becoming a young man is crucial. There is no time to learn how this is done now, just to do! He is now responsible for feeding the mouths and providing safety for him and his sister. But hes not alone! He has recently seen the powers of God and what he is capable of. Giving him a huge blessing with a home but meanwhile taking his mother from him. Since the house was erected he has been involved with the youth group at Pastor Stimbiso's church and has joined the choir. His little sister has also been showing up at one of the feeding programs always with a beautiful smile on her face.

Mongoliso (My South African Roommate) and I heard of the mother passing away and went that night to go stay with the kids. Since both Mongoliso and I have lost a parent as kids we where hoping to bring a little insight or just a little affection. We ended up just sitting around a fire passing around some water and Popsicles laughing at the awkward language barrier. At the end of the night we all gathered in the house and prayed. As the kids were lying down for bed we heard Sipo praying on his own in his room. It was a beautiful thing since he was so new to self prayer. The next morning they woke with smiles and ready to eat wich I had prepared them some bread and jam with hot water to wash before school. I packed them lunches and on we were to school. After about a 5K walk to school we said Saligasie (Good Buy and have a nice day) we continued back to the house hoping the kids would have a good day.

A couple days before the funeral Sipo was unable to be found. Wondering why he would leave after the community, church , friends, and family all gathered everyday to help with anything possible he just left. Pastor Stimbiso and Mongoliso held prayer meetings every night before the funeral. It was great to be apart of such a Godly Gathering. The night before the funeral Sipo showed up back at home. What a relief!

The Funeral held place at the house at 6am. Seeing everyone who had put so much time and effort into this family all coming together at once to share in the joy and sorrow of this day had more of an imact on me then I was ready for. People from another community asked to be picked up so they could also come just because they heard of how the community was coming together through this family. As the service ended with prayer and songs they loaded the body into the back a truck and started up the hill to the cemetery with all the women following singing and dancing all the way. When we arrived at the cemetery which sat at the top of a mountain side you could feel the presence of God. Yeah He was there! With a view of hazy fog trickling down two mountain sides that flowed into a river like valley of plush forest and the sun was just ascending over a mountain side far in the distance. As everybody chimed in with song and prayer my emotions started to overcome me. I saw Sipo there staring at his mothers coffin with a blank stare on his face. No emotion whats so ever. I couldn't help think of my step fathers funeral and what i could imagine being the same feeling. Helpless knowing now that you have to step up and be the man of the house. Being afraid of what to do or who to go to when things get tough.
I was truly honored to be apart of the burial. Shoveling dirt with the other men was a blessing in disquise. I thought i would be out of place. Not welcome in a way. But it was the exact opposite. As i was digging I caught the eyes of the other men and they were shocked but grateful that a white man would get dirty and be apart of this. After the cerimony was over the men came to shake my hand and thanks for the help. At that moment i realized that all race barriers and stature aside meant nothing when it comes to helping the poeple that you love. When you come together and a share love with one another it comes from God and God shows you that love through other people around you.

I'm still here a couple days later after the funeral wondering how the kids will do on there own. I keep forgeting they are not alone. God, the community, and myself are all here and not going anywhere. If they need anything God will provide. I'm hoping to do another overnight with the kids soon so please keep them in your prayers and remember that God has ways of showing his plans to you, just throw away all your preconceived ideas and he will show up.



-Ryan

My Top 5 Favorite Things at the Moment:

Every Morning I have a cup of this with honey and I've got to say, it's the best part of waking up! It's got tons of caffine and it's helped me kick the coffee habbit.

I'm just learning how to knit, but I've put a big project in front of me. I'm making 48 11"x11" sqaures sewn together in different patterns to make a large blanket. This was inspired by "Knit a Sqaure", a campagne introduced to the women in our community by Jen. Different women sent us sqaures to knit together to make blankets for the orphans in our invested communities. They turned out great and inspired me to try to make one myself. Can't wait to see how it turns out.


I've always loves the T.V. series, but I've never given the book a chance. Carla, my step mother was nice enough to allow me to borrow her copy of THREE books in one. You know what they say, the book is always better :)

This I just bought today and spent over 5 hours writting, drawing etc. I'm really excited about having a new creative outlet and new way to speak to God.

Need I say more?!

what God is saying to me...

After having the opportunity to be in Africa for over two months, I've found that I have a bit more clarity than I was able to find in the states. With my job and bills and every other distraction and temptation that comes with being "home", it was easier for me to tune out what God was trying to speak into my heart. Lately, I've been learning to work on the inside, and everything else has just been falling into place. If I can get what's within me right with Him, that light shines through my inner doubt. I'm learning that God is filling a void inside of me, and He loves to watch me grow.

The mother of the children mentioned in my last blog have played a big role in this last week for me. There's been a buzz around the community about what we can do for the kids and how we can raise the funds for the funeral. All week there have been nightly prayer meetings in her honor in the Mbonisweni community. Last night, Ryan and I had the opportunity to attend and it was so beautiful. Just earlier that day, I had been asking my friend Brittany about her experiences with the holy spirit, and I was beginning to doubt that God would ever show me that side of Him. leave it up to God to show you up, right? I walked into the tent, and the people who loved her were singing with all the passion in their hearts. The holy spirit was among us, and it was all I could do not to cry for the gratefulness I felt in my own heart. Tomorrow we will be attending the funeral ceremony early in the morning, and that evening Ryan and Mongaliso are planning on spening another night with the children. I'll keep you posted on their progress.

Stolen from Rae's Camera...

The sweetest smile.

Montana and I at youth day.

The sign I made for Sandile's birthday party.

African Sky

Ryan's other girlfriend, Zoe

I love Eunice.

These are the beautiful red flowers that are blooming on our trees.

I'm thinking the elephant could take out the car if he really wanted to.

Gracie...with a chip on her head.

Rae and Carla looking lovely.

Ryan and I at God's Window.

What a babe!

Dad, Stanley and Sandile

Rae

Getting there...

I guess you could call this our first "real" blog entry. We've been in South Africa for two months now and for me, reality is sinking further into my skin every day. I wake up every morning and enjoy a hot cup of 5 Rose's chai tea with full cream milk, a dash of sugar and a drizzle of honey. I sit in the quiet and look around me and I'm still taken back by the scenery. We're in the middle of winter and instead of the colors being dull and lifeless, we have blooming red flowers on the trees and for the most part, the grass is still a lovely shade of green. You can see the landscape for miles and every inch of it is breath taking. If I really take a second to be observant, sometimes I can faintly smell the orange groves in the distance; of course that could be my imagination.
Even as I begin to finally settle in to the realization that I actually live here, I still can't help but wonder how I was lucky enough for God to have such big plans for my life. Sometimes I still want to pinch myself to make sure it's all real. Considering where I was 6 months ago, just testing the waters with Him, waiting tables, living in a suburban apartment feeling like I was heading for a dead end at 100 miles an hour, it's almost unbelievable to think that God had taken me so far so quickly. I struggle with not feeling worthy for the big plans He seems to have for me and sometimes I let that hold me back in my walk with Him. It sometimes feels too big for me to carry and for some reason, maybe just being so new to all this, I can't always be ready to trust Him. Silly right? I think we're working on it.
I'm sharing a room with my little sister who's 15, which feels like a whole world away from where I'm at coming from being on my own. It's been a bit of a pride issue with me, giving it all up and coming back to being a child again. On the other hand, and more importantly, it's been really awesome to have a family in them. It's been over ten years since we've all been together. Ten years ago, I didn't want a family and now here I am learning how to be a part of it. They're very gracious to let me back in and it's been quite a wonderful experience getting to know them on such a personal level. There's only so much you can learn about someone on holidays, birthdays, and weekly dinners. We see what's real in one another now and it's been good. I think eventually with their patience and my persistence I'll learn how to survive in a family environment, I'm just trying to find my place there. There isn't a better group of people to do it with, that much I know for sure.
One thing that amazes me in this whole endeavor, is that God loved me enough to let the love of my life come with me to take on this whole new adventure on the other side of the world. Some how it worked out that we could do all of this hand in hand with God right in the middle. It's been hard on us, sometimes it feels like this trip is really beating us up as a couple. God is testing us, it's so hard to have been so close and been put in the position where we have to take a huge step back. We're learning to get accustomed to the change our relationship has been forced to take and we know that if we can make it through this we can make it through anything. We are two incredibly blessed people and we are so grateful.
Although I've got to say, the best thing about all of this is the children. I've found this new side of me that I've never known was buried underneath my semi-hard exterior. When I see these kids, this nurturing, caring need to mother the motherless comes from deep within me. It just takes one smile to completely melt my heart. For instance, two nights ago Ryan spent the night with a few children whose mother had passed away earlier in the day. I tagged along in the evening to spend a couple of hours with them by fire-light. When I arrived I had a somber heart full of pity for the children, but they showed me that nothing can hide the joy of the Lord in a child's heart. There was one girl in particular who truly changed me with her smile. She sat in my lap and sang hymes with me, and it was all I could do to just hold her and rub her back, and it was all she could do to give me the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. I swear I saw God in her face, and she reminded me of why I am here. She reminded me that I need Africa more than Africa needs me.
I just want to take a second to truly thank everyone from the bottom of my heart that made this possible for us. It was your love that helped us come to far and your belief in us that helped us to believe in ourselves. We love you, absolutely and completely. Check back soon, I'll try to acually keep up with this thing...
-A