my birthday...etc

So, let me start by apologizing for not keeping up with this thing - I feared I wouldnt. Once I get too far behind I feel like I don't know where to start for a new blog and just keep puting it off. I'm such a procrastinator...Which sucks because I'm not getting nearly enough wedding stuff done. (Dec. 7th, save the date!)

Anyway, my 21st birthday was Nov. 4th and it was amazing! I didn't get too many pics but I'll post the ones I have. it started this way:

-Starbucks in bed

-Our first date all over again starting with my favorite sushi place in down town fort worth

-Followed by the botanical gardens. I once told Ryan that when I was little I went to the botanical gardens on a field trip and decided then that I wanted to get married in the rose gardens, but since we are having a Dec wedding it isn't possible. So, he took me there and proposed! My ring is so beautiful

-After that I got a CAR from Ryan's dad. Which totally rocks btw. We named her Zelda.

-Then We went out to eat and then to a Stars game. Afterwards I went to Mike Modano's bar and met the guy. Pretty sweet, eh? Did I mention the Yankees won the world series?

-Finally we went back to a family friend's house and hung out there to unwind for an hour or two. Probably the best day of my life

We've been keeping very busy now that we are back in the states. I start my job tomorrow at Chilis in fort worth, and Ryan is doing some leather work out of the garage to make ends meet. We're both in a really good place in our lives and we can't wait to see what God has in store for us next!

Saying goodbye to SA - Ryan Emery

I woke up this morning realizing that this will be the last full day I will have in the great God fearing country of South Africa... This morning involved waking up to the inspiring words of a Donald Miller book, "Through Painted Deserts" then to a very moving time of Worship to prepare for the last service we would attend at Mbonisweni. I caught myself asking God to show up in every way possible to make this service the most memorable of them all. I have to admit I was a little nervous about playing a couple of new songs I wrote this morning. I wanted so badly to play the best I ever have and wanted to leave these people with something special that they would always remember. But I realized that its not about what I can show these people or what memories I can leave with them; Its about sharing in the presence of God and praising our creator as equals. If there is only one thing that I take from here it is that I have changed my attitude about what I have to offer this world. Before when entering the different communities I would think to myself that I am going to play with this kid better then anyone else ever has or I am going to bring these people something they have never seen or felt. Quickly realizing that I couldn't offer any life changing advice or materialistic object but I could share the love that our Father has shared with all of us from day one. Gods gift of love is is the most influential thing in my life and is the number one thing I want share with anybody I come in contact with.
I have enjoyed learning and growing with these kids spiritually. Learning how to work through the language barriers and trying to understand each others life morals, when it came down to it we could always talk about the joy that God has put in our life and how that is the most important thing to us.

South Africa, I will always remember you and I will take a piece of you for the rest of my life. Everything from the strong women and volunteers in the communities to the amazing youth group in Mbonisweni have all invested time and love into me and I want to thank you for that. Pastor Stimbiso, God has amazing plans for you and the body of Christ. Watching how you are affecting the lives of many people in your community and how it is flooding outward as well. I pray blessings and favor on you and your beautiful new family. I love you and can't wait to come back and see where God has taken you to the next great thing. South Africa Saligassi!
-Ryan Emery

Photo Credits

Photo Credits for my new blog banner in addition to many other photos used on this blog to my sister, Rae Dunn. :) Love ya lady.

When one door closes...

They say when one door closes God opens a window. I have to say that this is certainly proving true in my life in this moment. I came to Africa with little expectation and it got into my blood, my heart and soul in a way that I was not prepared for. Although I feel that it was right to cut our trip short to start a new chapter in life, I don't feel like any of this was in vain. Africa has changed me to my core and I will never be the same again. I love the pace of life here; taking the time to have a cup of tea with a friend will always come first before business (so naturally, relationship comes before timeliness.) I love the song that God has placed in every Africans heart and how singing comes just as naturally to them as regular conversation. I have to say what has truly inspired me that most about Africa is the thankfulness that the strong women of this continent have in the Lord to get them through any trial in their lives. The respect and love that they have for God is such a beautiful and awe inspiring thing that it has humbled me in a way that I desperately needed. My heart breaks for the children when I think about what they go home to every night; an empty stomach, a crowded one room house, no running water... It's hard to let these thoughts go on for too long when I take the time to look into their eyes and see the broad smile that stretches across their faces because they're happy to see me and they're happy to be alive.
Yes, my departure is bitter-sweet. I am leaving my short life here behind me for now to hopefully pick up again soon as a married woman with my loving husband by my side to embrace the world with me. We are at a place in our lives where God has a blank canvas in front of us and we can do anything. We have very few belongings, even less money and all the freedom that money can't buy. We have big dreams to travel the world and make a difference by following the hand that leads us. We wont linger long when we return home; we have the whole world to learn from! I don't believe I have ever been so liberated and thankful.
I am absolutely in love with it all.
-A

Wedding Bells...

Big News! Ryan and I will be back in the states on October 21st until the begining of January! We've been praying together and seperately and we feel like it's time for us to take the next step in our relationship and get married. I can't explain the path that God has put us both on, but it's like once He shows us something, and we submit to it, everything happens so quickly! We're both really excited and are in the process of working out all the details now; pre-marital couceling, rings, photography, cake...the list is a mile long. Please keep us in your prayers as we prepare for the next big step in our lives. We love you all so much and CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU!

The fine line between patience and anxious

Lately Ryan and I have been on the brink of something big. Africa has brought us closer to eachother and closer to God, ironically, by being seperated. We feel that God has put us "on the fast track" so to speak from the very begining. We gave our lives to Him, and then always very suddenly, the next step is a big one; ie, moving to Africa.

He's speaking to us now about new unfamilair things that we are so excited about. I sometimes have a hard time remembering that God is a loving God. I always think I don't deserve to be happy and I don't deserve His love, which of course I don't. Then he always shows me that is Gracious anyway and loves me for what I am, sins and all. He'll take me where I am no matter how dark a hole it may be, and help me out of it. All I can say for sure, is things are good. I can't stop smiling and I'm so excited about the future.


-Amanda

Caught Up

I would say the last week, maybe two, I'm starting to get off track. Just a little bit...off. I've been quite sick on and off since I've arrived over two months ago and I tend to hibernate in my bed to recover. I feel too weak to leave and my feeble stomach does me no favors. When I rise from my illness it takes all my spare time to get caught up on the tasks at hand and finish what I have committed to.

I'm getting to a point where I am losing the bright sense of joy that Africa has put on my heart and that endearing sense of belonging is slowly starting to escape me. I'm spending more time mourning the loss of my relationships back home than I am pursuing new ones with the people who are in association with me here. I never find myself in the mood to talk or be deliberate with anyone anymore. I'm slowly receding further into the furniture and losing the will to move forward. That's not to say I have regrets about my decision to embrace Africa as my new environment or that I don't love the people I work in community with; I am simply losing my motivation little by little and my heart is beginning to call home. I should have been ready for this, I should have known that it was impossible for me to avoid these feelings after the first few months of being here. I've been praying for God to speak into my life and remind me of what is truly important. I told Him I'd give Him everything, and He told me He would make it far worth my while. I cannot continue to stay focused on a chapter in my life that I have ended, I must look forward and prepare for what lies ahead. The more time I spend looking behind me, the longer it will be before I see the big picture. I have been called to be here, and I see it in a child's smile. I see it on the beautiful breezy days and at dinner with my family. I feel a sense of belonging no matter how hard I try to fight with it. I know that this is where God wants me, it's just a matter of being submissive to Him and allowing Him to use me as His vessel.

However, today the sun is shining and it's warming the ground. The plants are a new shade of green and the brightly colored African lizards are playing on the front porch. It's fairly quiet here on base, as Sundays generally are and after two days of ill hibernation, I'm reminded of the beauty that Africa holds in it's soul. I'm feeling blessed to be a part of it, and while I still don't really feel like talking, I'm sure I'll come around. It's a process as I'm slowly beginning to figure out and you never get to where you're going. You just continue to get closer, then step back maybe even take a running leap forward before you fall down again. The beautiful part of it all is that God never leaves us on the ground. His hand is always extended to help us back on our feet. I'm choosing to hold onto it and follow Him where he leads me.

[photo credits to Jen price]